Congratulations, youve decided that?youre finally ready to take that leap towards trying cannabis. Perfect. Beautiful. Let me be the first to welcome you to the family.?But before you take that first toke, Id like to offer you a few pieces of advice so you know what youre getting into.

“It was love at first puff. When I took that first hit and felt that happiness in my head I instantly knew that I was smitten.”

 

Be Prepared to Not Get High

The first time I smoked, I didnt get high. Maybe I didnt do it right. Maybe I was all wrong. But I didnt. And Ive heard this as the case for so many people, so just know its a possibility. But dont let it deter you from getting to where youre going. If at first you dont succeed, dust yourself off and try again. Yes, I did just quote Aaliyah.

Inhale

You cant get high if you arent inhaling. I still remember the first time I properly did it. Ooooohweeee. My eyes got low, lights got bright, and my soul left my body. It was epic?no, scratch that?it was euphoric. Everything and everyone made me soooo happy and my body felt soooo good.

If you dont feel like youre getting high, maybe you just arent inhaling properly. Let that smoke fill your lungs and carry you to infinity and beyond.

Hydrate Like an Athlete

If I had a nickel for every morning I woke up completely dehydrated from getting stoned out of my mind the night before, well, Id have a lot of nickels. Probably enough to buy 17 gallons of water, which is the exact amount youll need after a solid smoke sesh unless you want to end up looking like Spongebob when he?visited Sandys house for the first time. If youre going to indulge in the arts of cannabis, make sure to chug a bunch of water before the occasion like youre about to play in a high school state championship game.

Choose Your Piece Wisely

Ive been smoking?blunts?since Day One so thats just how I get down. But if its your first time, I suggest easing into it. You dont run a marathon without first doing a one mile test, and the same principle applies to smoking. Dont jump into heavy bong rips,?dabs, and things of that nature until you take a few baby steps.

I suggest starting with a little bowl and working your way up that ladder until youre ready to take on more advanced consumption methods like the dab rip, also known as the M. Bison of the cannabis world. Also:?beware of the?gravity bong. Theyre little, but boyyyy do they pack a punch. My first time hitting one resulted in hours of paranoia and discomfort. Dont do that. Youve been warned.

“Gravity Bongs are the most EFFICIENT way to consume CANNABIS, but be warned….. THey pack a punch.”

Download a Food Courier App

The worst thing possible when high is having to go somewhere and do something, even if the task is just getting food. When I delivered food for Postmates, 95% of the houses I delivered to reeked?of cannabis. Coincidence? I think not. Its because those people were smart enough to make the experience convenient for them. You are, too.?Make sure to download your preferred courier app (Postmates, DoorDash, Favor, etc.) beforehand so you wont entertain the possibility of going out and driving under the influence (or wandering around outside when youre not feeling particularly social or comfortable).

Clear Your Schedule

If youre about to get high for the first time, youll probably?pass out at some point. Dont even say No I wont, because youll be forced to come apologize to me once you wake up eight hours after taking your first bong hit. Its like a rollercoaster: you go alllll the way to the top just to drop alllll the way to the bottom.

Even if you dont fall asleep (which you probably will), you may end up feeling heavy-bodied, so if youre about to smoke for the first time, make sure youre in a comfortable environment that encourages absolute relaxation. I suggest a living room with a 65 flat screen and a sectional couch (the crease of the L is the sweet spot).

Never Smoke With Sketchy People

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This pretty much applies to anything in life, but especially when it comes to cannabis consumption. If youre smoking for the first time, it should be with some friends you trust. But on the off chance that its with some sketchy-ass strangers, make sure to abide by Rule #1 of the Bruh, Im Just Tryna Get High code of conduct: If you didnt see it rolled or packed, dont smoke it. You do not want to get hit with a case of the shenanigans around people you dont know in an unfamiliar environment.

Know (or Learn) Your Limits

If youre stoned out of your mind after one hit, feel free to pass on the joint in rotation. Your mission was to get high for the first time, not melt your entire face off. Know your limits and act accordingly.

Develop a?Tribe

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Once you start smoking, youll want to have a group of friends that you can smoke with. I like to call this my tribe. These are the people that you hit up for a group sesh. You also want to have a tribe because, if I can keep it funky, smoking solo can get extremely boring. But when you have friends, who knows what type of adventures yall might get high enough to go on? Or even if its not an adventure, you might end up having a dope/deep-ass conversation, which may turn out to be a therapeutic experience. So make sure to find friends who enjoy the same activity then build with them.

Be Prepared to Fall in Love

For me, cannabis was love at first pipe. When I took that first hit and felt that buzz in my eyelids I instantly knew that I was smitten. You might be, too. Prepare to embark on a new, groundbreaking relationship. (But much like any relationship, things can get expensive. So before you go into this, just know this love may leave your pockets taxed.)

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